


you said forever (now I drive alone past your street)

by seekrest



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: (except no road trip because it’s NYC), Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up/Make Up, Driving, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Inspired by drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo, Michelle Jones Gets a Hug, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Post-Break Up, melancholy road trip vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28676289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: Michelle pushes that memory away, tightening her grip on the steering wheel as she drives.She should take the subway. She should walk. Something. Anything other than getting behind the wheel of a car that was all but useless in New York City.But she can’t.She got her driver’s license last week.Just like they used to always talk about.Michelle was going to use it.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Comments: 27
Kudos: 68





	you said forever (now I drive alone past your street)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spideysmjs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideysmjs/gifts).



> Did I listen to this song and immediately think of Marie? Yes what about it.

_Ding. Ding. Ding._

Michelle opens the door, closing it and locking it behind her. She takes a deep breath, staring at the dashboard in front of her. 

Put keys in ignition. _Check_.

Turn key. _Check_. 

Adjust the mirrors. _Check_. 

Look and see if anyone is in the street. _Check_.

Michelle runs her hands over the steering wheel, fingers lightly tapping alongside it before bringing a hand down to switch from Park to Drive.

A rush of anxiety flows through her, just as the memory of a smile that set off butterflies and a laugh that was so infectious that she couldn’t help but laugh with does too. 

Michelle grinds her teeth, swallows that down and switches the car into gear.

Moving into traffic is easy, easier than it should be for how terrified she is.

 _You’ll be fine, MJ_ , he used to say, _it can’t be that bad_.

 _You also face off against idiots in rhino suits, Pete_ , Michelle had bounced back, Peter’s laughter echoing in the relative quiet of her tiny dorm room. _Your expectations are shifted._

Michelle pushes that memory away, tightening her grip on the steering wheel as she drives. 

She should take the subway. She should walk. Something. _Anything_ other than getting behind the wheel of a car that was all but useless in New York City.

But she can’t. 

She got her driver’s license last week.

Just like they used to always talk about. 

Michelle was going to use it.

* * *

“MJ, this is pathetic.”

“It’s not pathetic,” Michelle whispers, ignoring the glare that Cindy Moon is currently giving her. 

“I let it slide when we were in high school. I mean, I saw Peter’s abs once during gym so I get it—“

“Cin—“ Michelle says with a sigh, rubbing a hand over her forehead before leaning forward in the driver’s seat, only for Cindy to cut her off.

“But driving past his apartment? When _you_ were the one who broke up with him?” Cindy says with a scoff, Michelle pressing her lips together and glancing over to her friend.

“I don’t get it. He was _such_ a flake,” Cindy mutters while shaking his head, “honestly, like I like Peter but I always thought you could do better.”

“Wow Cin, tell me how you really feel,” Michelle deadpans, “and we’re _not_ driving past his apartment to see him. This is the quickest way to that ice cream shop you wanted to go to.”

“I don’t know why we couldn’t have just take the subway,” Cindy says with a huff, folding her arms and sitting back in the chair as Michelle slowly drives up to the red light. 

Only for Cindy to sharply inhale, sitting up straight as Michelle looks at her frantically.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Okay don’t freak out but…” Cindy trails off, pointing off to the sidewalk across from them, Michelle going to question why she was being so weird when her eyes follow where Cindy’s pointing to and she immediately understands.

If Michelle was honest with herself, she _hadn’t_ driven this way for the chance to see Peter. The chances of Peter even being around were slim to none considering it was almost nine and that was perfect patrol time. 

Yet there he is, crossing the street towards his building, throwing his head back in laughter that even if Michelle can’t physically hear it, she can imagine it. 

Seeing him doesn’t twist her stomach into knots like it used to, nor does seeing him happy— she’s glad. She is. She has to be. Cindy was right. Michelle was the one who broke up with him.

It doesn’t take the sting away to see who he’s laughing _with_ , Felicia Hardy’s pretty blonde hair swishing off her shoulder as they walk next to each other. 

Michelle can’t tell if they’re holding hands from this angle but she doesn’t care if they are or aren’t, the fact that Peter wasn’t patrolling but walking with her— grocery bags in hand towards his apartment— indicating that they’re at best getting dinner. 

That they’re most likely on a date.

Michelle can hear Cindy’s voice in the distance but it fades away as she watches Peter and Felicia walk side by side, anger and hurt and betrayal all flowing through her in equal measure— feelings she doesn’t have a right to feel.

 _She’s_ the one who broke up with Peter, a relationship that had somehow magically made the leap from high school to college at ESU, only to crumble under the weight of real life and what it _really_ means to be dating a superhero.

She’d figured out Felicia Hardy’s secret long before Peter had ever shared it with her, putting two and two together in a way that only someone who was very observant could, that Felicia Hardy’s nighttime activities involved more than frat parties and bars.

Michelle had never doubted Peter and how faithful he was to her, of all the insecurities she had about being in a relationship with him— that had never been one of them.

But seeing them together, here and now, walking close and giggling as if they didn’t have a care in the world as they walked up to Peter’s apartment lobby, ached at something deeply insecure within her.

Michelle hadn’t felt that she could keep it up— the terror of knowing anytime Peter left her that it could be the last time she saw him, the way he prioritized Spider-Man over literally _anything_ else, the knowledge that he idolized Tony Stark and if he wasn’t careful, would end up becoming just like him— hailed like a hero to the world but leaving behind a devastating empty space to anyone who truly knew and loved him.

Michelle wasn’t a superhero or “super” in that way. How could she compete against someone like Felicia? 

They weren’t perfect, no relationship was. Michelle hadn’t felt about anyone like she did about Peter. 

He said what they had was going to be forever. Michelle had believed it, at one point. 

But she had broken up with him. 

_Michelle_ had broken up with Peter.

And now he was moving on. 

The light turns from red to green. 

A horn honks.

“MJ?” Cindy says cautiously.

“I’m fine,” Michelle says, putting her foot to the gas and driving past Peter’s apartment— ignoring the feelings in her gut, the images of Peter and Felicia walking to his apartment and the familiarity of all the places and things they used to do.

* * *

Michelle is alone in her car, rain softly pattering down the windshield as she looks out over the empty street. 

Spider-Man and Black Cat hadn’t been spotted together at all for weeks, not that Michelle would admit to knowing that. Just as she didn’t notice that Felicia’s stopped showing up to their intro to humanities class.

If Cindy were here, she’d tell Michelle that she was being ridiculous— something that Michelle herself understands as she looks at the building in front of her.

What is she going to say to Peter? That she felt more jealous than she ever has when she saw him and Felicia together, _hating_ that she felt that and hating even more the thrill she had that whatever was between them fizzled out? That she hadn’t realized how much she couldn’t live without him until she had to, something that was a lie since she had cried herself to sleep the night she broke up with him and felt like she was making a mistake even while she was doing it? That she still fucking loved him, that she’d never stopped, and that for as much as she couldn’t imagine being the person on the other end of the line to possibly hear the worst news of her life, she couldn’t imagine _not_ being that person to him?

Michelle takes a shaky breath, turning off the ignition and locking the door behind her as she steps out— pulling her hood over her hair as she runs up to Peter’s lobby.

Anxiety and adrenaline work through her blood stream in equal measure, heart pounding in her ears as she half-walks, half-runs up the three flights of stairs— wondering if she was even more ridiculous to not text him beforehand and see if he was even home. 

But Michelle had driven around Peter’s apartment complex for the past twenty minutes to work up her nerve, wasting her gas and getting sick of the stupid red light staring down at her until she couldn’t take it anymore. Michelle makes her way up the familiar hallway that leads Peter’s apartment— her stomach twisting itself into knots over and over again until she’s right in front of his door. 

Michelle tries to catch her breath, raising a hand up and knocking before she can second guess herself. 

There’s a moment, tense and painful where Michelle thinks that maybe she really is acting like an obsessive ex-girlfriend— the one who broke her boyfriend’s heart and can’t let go, showing up at his apartment unannounced.

Before Michelle can turn away, she hears the door unlock and then it opens— Peter looking at her in mild surprise.

“MJ?” He asks, looking at her up and down. “Are you okay? Is everything—“

She cuts him off by throwing her arms around him, Peter hesitating for a moment before enveloping her into a hug— Michelle closing her eyes and relishing in the warmth and the goodness and the _familiar_ that was Peter Parker.

Michelle knows she has to explain, that they have to talk, that Peter has every single right in the world to kick her out for having broken his heart just as much as she had broken her own.

But she doesn’t, not just yet— holding out for the smallest glimmer of hope that the forever he promised her wouldn’t stay out of reach.

That maybe someday, if he’ll have her, if they’ll have each other— that there’d be a day that she would be driving home to him. 


End file.
